…that did it for me. If you were to open up my high school year book, in my senior blurb under “likes” is listed small details that make a big difference. Not much has changed since then. I still find myself reveling in the seemingly smallest of small blessings that to me are the biggest treasures.

For instance – 5:3o pm. Might be one of my favorite times of day. I pull into my driveway and more than likely see 2 white, fuzzy faces expectantly looking out at me. I know that in less than a minute, I’ll be greeted by them – and my Sam’s welcoming embrace. Things like this are what makes the house a home.

I could bathe in self pity.

Ever ended your day wanting to do just that? Enter the Gospel of Mark, chapter 3.  Meet my friend Jesus. Watch my ‘woe is me’ attitude dissipate–at least until the next time I set out to march into the “depths of despair.”

It all starts out nice and all, the man with the withered hand getting healed, but by verse 6 two major groups–the Pharisees and Herodians (in my head I always equate these guys to lobbyists)–are holding a meeting.  On that day’s agenda: how to destroy Jesus. Ouch.

In verse 11 we find Jesus is having to deal with demons. Frequently. Another day, another demon. I wonder if he found the great crowds of people to be more irritating. At least the demons admitted to his identity, his purpose and his role in redemptive history.

Hello verse 19. By now Jesus has called his disciples, the men he would be doing life with for the remainder of his ministry.  I wonder how hard it was to call Judas, who would betray him. Imagine willingly committing the remainder of your days to hanging out with your traitor.  Imagine enduring every small act of life with that person if you were going to live in community together.  I am easily frustrated with Sam when he doesn’t rinse his toothbrush off enough according to my standards and I love him dearly.  I can’t even begin to imagine eating, living, playing, talking, resting, traveling–all while knowing what he would do for some silver.

By verse 21 Jesus’ family tried to help because the crowd thinks he’s lost it, or to put it more explicitly like the ESV translation does, “And when his family heard it,  they went out to seize him for they were saying ‘ He is out of his mind.’” Translation — call Dr. Phil because we need an intervention.  It doesn’t get better by verse 22, because now people  think he’s demon possessed. The chapter ends with Jesus’ mother and brothers coming to look for him. Again.

Tonight at dinner I chatted with Sam about this. I really like this chapter in Mark. It reminds me that Jesus was walking in tension through much of his ministry.  Often I forget to really think about who Jesus was is and revert to thinking of him with my flannel graph mentality.  What I mean is, often I look back on Jesus’ ministry and see this guy walking through a dusty landscape being kind to kids and making people feel better when all of a sudden a switch flips and all of the people want him dead!

But his message was a fierce one and it bothered people and made them feel uncomfortable and I bet it was really annoying to him that his family possibly thought he was crazy after all that had happened to them with the whole Christmas story and all…I mean, come on Mary—did you forget about the shepherds, and the wise men that came and how you fled to Egypt because Herod was so scared about this child who was the Messiah? And what about how when Joseph wanted to leave you in a kind way but an angel appeared and convinced him otherwise? Didn’t you know this guy came to shake things up?

Yet here it is, almost February and I’ve forgotten who Jesus was and this truth that I’ve centered my whole life on.  I’ve let a couple of small things get in the way and forgotten this awesome message that offended some and humbled others.

Mark 3.  I recommend reading it.

II Corinthians 9:7

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

This morning I got to be an eye witness.  I saw the offering plate passed over a young child while he was digging in his pockets. As he struggled to free what was captive he looked so discouraged.  After a few more moments of squirming he finally was able to withdraw a bill from his pockets.  Brilliant! Without hesitating he left his seat and made his way, actually ran, to the closest usher and with the most sincere smile handed over his money.

I smiled to myself. I imagined God smiling as he saw this drama unfold–he loves this kind of stuff.

I try to plan a lot of “looking forward to” events for these winter days — “anything to get through March” is kind of my mantra. I was excited when I woke up today to find the sky blue and the sun bright.

Here’s what we did for the most part:

Bagels

Saved a couple lives (ok, ok, we just gave 2 pints of blood)

Took the dogs to the dog lawn at Coindre Hall

Made a good, healthy dinner

Ate the dinner

I really enjoyed our time outside, it gave me hope that spring  is around the corner.  I think Mikey and Bella had a good time too.  Mikey has to wear a hoodie because otherwise he gets too chilly and sits there and shivers.  As I was photographing Mikey I noticed his ears have seemed to grown in the past couple of weeks. Or maybe his head is shrinking? Either way, he is still our ridiculous but loveable dog.

Can you guess which photos were taken before and after our excursion?

Last week I spoke at the Huntington Christian Women’s Club. How this happened, I don’t even know.  But it was out there and it always encourages me to meet Christians from places other than my church, or work — an encouragement to me that God’s hand is moving all over Huntington (and beyond).

So I thought I might share what I shared with all the sweet ladies:

“I was courted by a very determined carpenter from Nazareth…” or so quips one of my favorite authors, Lauren Winner.  When I read that line in her first book When Girl Meets God, my heart understood what this author was saying.  That was exactly how I felt about Jesus Christ, the carpenter from Nazareth.  I had been courted – slowly awakened to something so good that had always been so close, so near to me.

Sunday school, church, Jesus, God, Christianity — it was all a world that I was familiar with.  My parents raised me to memorize the Bible and to heartily sing the songs my beloved Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Mitchell taught me.  God never seemed distant or scary – but welcoming and kind, like my grandfather. When I look back on childhood memories I see images of our broken in blue leather couch that sat in our family room, and the smell of our church’s basement.  It seemed as though my four brothers and I were always being shuffled between our house and church – and home meant both those things to us.  Family meant my parents and my brothers… and our friends at church.

I suppose I wasn’t the typical teenage girl – I never dated the bad boy, I wasn’t terribly popular but it didn’t bother me that much.  I enjoyed spending time with my friends but remained communicative with my parents.  I never rebelled against their rules regarding church attendance.  I even went on numerous missions trips to South America with them.  But whatever “it” was that I needed with God, with Jesus …it wasn’t there.

I can still remember this one moment so clearly as if I were watching it on dvd.    It was the day my youth pastor asked us my church friends and I to share about the time we realized that our faith had become our own.  I realized it hadn’t yet and I knew in my heart that I was lacking something important. Up until that point my faith was something my family did and I cared about it because it was what connected me with them.  But my faith, becoming my own? I knew what he meant – where was my relationship with God? I couldn’t answer the question – If I had been honest, I would have been ashamed.  I did not live with or for God, save for the mechanical prayers I muttered when half asleep.

But God was showing me who He is.  I was able to look on my child hood and see how good he had been to me by blessing me with a loving home where I was protected from the world outside our doors.  I was also able to start to understand that he was drawing me into friendsip with him In the bible, the book of Acts says : “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. ²⁵And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. ²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’

It was around this time when I started to pray on my own – to ask God questions, to cry to him in private.  I would write everything in my journal.  It was all about what I was wondering…all my complaints, happiness, sorrows, questions, hopes – I began to share and dialog with him.  Church became less about the building, the people, the fun events.  It was where we went to hear good news, to be edified and encouraged.  I felt God responding to me and these prayers– sometimes concretely and sometimes without a definable answer but I noticed that when things did not go my way there was a calm assurance in my heart.

But it wasn’t just me talking to God – there were many people along the way that showed me what it meant to love God, to live for him with His real promises of peace and joy in their hearts.  My parents and youth pastor were my first examples.  After my freshman year in high school my parents blessed me by putting me into a Christian Secondary School.  There I entered the classrooms where loving faculty guided me through the most wonderful curriculum – fusing together faith and learning into a harmonious relationship.  During my senior year in high school, one woman even stepped out on her own to seek a relationship with me, to meet with me regularly in the early morning before classes began to mentor me.  Not only did she teach me that coffee tastes best when you lighten it with real heavy cream, but she showed me what it meant to be a woman delighting in who God was, the gifts and resources he had given her and the importance to put him first above all things.  She shared with me the unanswered longings of her heart for a baby but continued to praise God when he did not give her what she and her husband most wanted.  I found that incredible.  I felt like there was a parade of people before me, who were humbly showing their faith in God and it made me want more of what they all had – a true friendship with God where I would fully feel the peace of having his security around me, forever.

After graduating from high-school I moved onto a Christian college.  There my world-view was broadened and God allowed me to experience new and great things—but as I stepped into this phase of my life, things seamed to become a lot more difficult.  People I loved died before their time.  As I learned more about our world I became very sensitive to its tragedies – the AIDS epidemic in Africa, poverty, hunger, human trafficking, overt hypocrisy and immorality in the church…I really struggled with Christians who were hypocrites but continued to succeed and seemingly be blessed.  I had conflict with family members and made decisions that grieve me when I think back on them.

The worst part was that when things seemed so messed up on everyone else’s end – God revealed to me my own short-comings and the ugliness that I harbored in my own heart.  He revealed to me that I was selfish.  I was able to do things that looked good to everyone else but I was impacted with the reality that I needed Him to save me, to rescue me from my sin.  I can remember that while helping out with the “Cubbies”- that would be the youngest kids at the children’s club at church.  Every week we would methodically teach these little 4 and 5 year olds that sin was anything we did, said or thought that made God sad.  I thought of how sad I had made God.  Sure, I didn’t murder anyone, but things like gossiping, being deceitful, thinking and acting selfishly – these were all things I did frequently.

One day after a very stimulating discussion in one of my classes I scheduled an appointment with my professor.  I went to his office under the supposition that I needed to ask him a technical question – but God allowed him to see through my exterior self.  He asked me why I really came to speak to him and I just began to cry…I unloaded everything on him.  And he prayed for me.  He prayed that I would know and grasp how much Jesus loves me and that is what motivated him to die on the cross, enduring the consequences of my sin, that I might benefit by becoming a beloved daughter in God’s kingdom.  I thought of all the times I had sang that familiar song “Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, they are weak and he is strong.”  But those simply put truths became even more real and true to me that day.

Some of you might be very familiar with what the Bible says in John chapter three, verse 16 -  For God so loved the world that he sent his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  That is the truth that is the very focal point of why we do what we do –but I wonder why Christians often forget to include what the bible says next — For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Have you felt like I did, that you were being courted by a very determined carpenter from Nazareth.  Jesus was something I was so familiar with, but it was through time, and his people, and experiences that he kept showing me how much he loved me.  And over time, I began to really accept it and live my life based on the promises given to us in the Bible.

My story doesn’t end there.  And God is never finished with us…the Bible says that he has set eternity in our hearts – we long to be with him in the way that he designed things to be before our sin entered the picture.  And when you accept that he sent his son to die for your sins, that you gain fellowship with him for eternity.

But we are still living on this side of eternity, aren’t we?  God loves us and we can choose to accept that or not accept that – but life with God will not always be easy, however, with God we will see hope born of our suffering.  That’s one of the things that I find captivating about God, about his word…it breaks all of our paradigms and thoughts of how things should be…Hope? Coming from suffering?

You see last year was one of the hardest years of my life.  When you dig down deep enough in people’s stories, often you will find there is some event or tragedy that haunts their thoughts…perhaps for you it was a mistake of your youth, the untimely death of a child, a failed marriage, a parent’s rejection…something.

Last year was my first year of marriage – things stared out blissfully in typical “honeymooner’s” fashion…I loved my husband, I loved my home and I loved being a newlywed.  Last April though, I started to feel “different”—tired all the time, nauseous, wanting nothing to do with food…I was overwhelmed when I discovered myself pregnant.  This was not what I had planned.  Although Sam and I were worried about how we would make ends meet we looked joyfully towards holding our little one.

On Mother’s Day we told our families the news and everything seemed to be coming up roses! Later that week we had our first doctor’s appointment.  As the doctor moved the tools around I gleefully watched the monitor… I could see a spine, a head, tiny arms, a face…I could see all these wonderful things but I didn’t know to look for something that was not there – the heartbeat.  Our doctor very sympathetically told us the news … phrases like “stopped developing at a couple weeks ago” and “this is nature’s way” went in one ear and out the other.  I couldn’t stop crying.  When we left the office, it was pouring, and the tears that fell from my eyes seemed to keep up with the rate of the drops from the sky. I spent that night praying for a miracle, that when we returned for an appointment the next day, the baby would have a strong, beating heart.   It was so hard to grasp that something so sad would happen during a phase in my life that was supposed to be so lovely.  Alas, God did not accomplish what I had spent the night begging for.

The next day I was brought into Huntington Hospital for a D&C.  I’ll never forget how I felt afterwards…pregnant one minute…empty the next. Settling into bed, I polished off a whole bag of oreo’s—the nurse told me I should probably eat something “light.” I was so angry and heart broken– but then I prayed and I felt a peace come over me…I know it was from God for I felt him impressing on my heart his deep, deep love for me, but also for my baby that was now in heaven with him…Throughout my life, God used so many things to woo me closer to him, nearer to his heart, replacing my wants and desires with joyful acceptance of his plans…and this situation was the same.

After some weeks had passed my mother gave me one of my favorite gifts – this locket – which is a type of frame, so it seemed fitting that I share about it with all of you.  She intended for our baby’s sonogram picture to go into it – she knew that this life was precious to God and I and we chose to be thankful for it.  She had the phrase “I will hold you in heaven” engraved on one side of the locket, and some scripture references engraved on the other.  Within this locket there is a smaller locket, and on that piece she had the word “hope” engraved with the intention that I would give it to my daughter – should God will that I have one.  Hope…born after suffering…

Thinking about a framework for life I am reminded of the scripture references my mom had engraved on the locket to remind me of what to frame my life around…These are God’s promises, for me, for you, found in His word, the Bible.

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 46:1-5

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

I love that last verse because I can read myself into it. You can too!

Joshua 1:9

⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Remember, that God is with you wherever you go.  My hope is that you would accept the promises he has given us.  Regardless of your past, he loves you and wants to welcome you as his treasure.  He is waiting, already forgiven you of your mistakes…he wants you to experience life with him.

I love the blogosphere. There’s a lot of good, free information and wisdom. In the past year I’ve been gleaning a lot from these blogs…One day I was daydreaming that all these blog authors descended upon my home and helped me get my life together — you know the, parts that I think need fixing. In a strange way, I feel like I know some of these women as they’ve granted me a peek into their lives. These blogs have been inspiring my goals for the 2010. I hope you enjoy!

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/ — I find Carolyn truly inspiring. I met her once but doubt she remembers. If anything is fierce it is her conviction an passion. Can I be her when I grow up?

http://melaniesperennials.blogspot.com/ — this woman lives right around the corner from me! One morning I saw her taking in her garbage pails I yelled out to her “I love your blooooooggggg” as I drove past. She gave a friendly wave and right away I knew we could be best friends.

http://www.russell-life.com — I’m determined to be like this mom when I have kids.

http://katiedid.squarespace.com/ — I want to be like this mom even more, she lives in Brooklyn. And she makes her kids’ clothes. Because we’re on the same island, I’m thinking I might run into her.

http://nightknitter.wordpress.com/ — My friend Julie knitted the most beautiful blanket that she lent me when I got cold on the women’s retreat this past year…Now I am determined to learn!

http://onhandmodern.typepad.com — Ok, another cute mom blog. Loving it.

http://www.sovgracepastorswives.com/ — A group of women who have been at this pastor’s wife thing way longer than me. But sometimes even C.J. Mahaney shows up and writes a little something…I think the EFCA should get at something like this!

Like I was saying before it is my dream to get all these talented, creative, artsy, practical, wonderful, women together. I’d love to put on a pot of coffee and just see where the conversation would take us!

Today is my brother Brad’s birthday! Happy Birthday big bro! We miss you very much.

When I think of Brad’s birthday, I always think of Elvis’ birthday because it’s the day before Brad’s, and the media always seems to focus on him around this time of year. One morning this past week I watched an interview with Priscilla Presley on the Today Show. I learned that if Elvis would have still been around, he would have been celebrating his 75th birthday. I was also intrigued by Priscilla’s answer when they asked her if Elvis was alive, what would he be doing now? She very straight-forwardly answered ” I don’t know if he’d be doing rock ’n’ roll right now; I think that maybe he’d be going into gospel. Maybe even preaching a little bit. He loved to teach and loved the Bible.” (click here to see the interview)

I’m a big Elvis fan, I love his music and wouldn’t mind if it were played at my funeral. Obviously he was struggling with something, to die from an over-dose.  I love the concept of “struggling” though because it gives me freedom to express that sometimes I don’t understand why God does things his way and it is hard for me to follow him.  I love when people who profess to know God can be honest and share their struggles.  Most of the time I see my relationship with God as a struggle – a tension between following my self’s desires vs. following God’s commands.

Perhaps I’m drawing nonsensical conclusions, but s I found Priscilla’s statement hopeful.  Imagining all the success Elvis had in the world–hel has at least one fan who was born more than a decade after he died!  I uttered a small prayer of thanks while watching the t.v. because I thought this was a testimony to God’s word, how it endures times and fads, fame, success, mistakes, wrong choices and death.

Thinking about Elvis – and figures like him – Johnny Cash is the first to come to mind – also reminds me that they are in a long line of people who knew who God was, but did not always trust the word God had given them and I am grateful that when their struggle was over, they were welcomed into God’s presence.

Adam, Abraham, David — all the way down to Elvis and Johnny Cash.

I hope years after my death someone will be able to make the remark “Ashley loved the Bible.”

I leave you with this video. May the words cause you to ponder God’s goodness.

Check out this picture of one of my sister in law — whenever I see it I feel inspired to do something awesome.

Did anyone else notice the  facebook news feed today? January has others feeling inspired too. Everyone was squawking about their new year’s resolutions, everything from reading through the Bible in a year to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  I was reminded of all my abandoned resolutions in years gone by.  It was a long flash-back of valiant attempts, most of them discarded by February.  Today I came across something I thought was pure gold! I immediately wanted to share it with all the ladies in my life.  True Woman’s blog had a list of resolutions that seem worth it in light of eternity (click here for a direct link to where they were originialy published). I also like the list that the blog on the website for Lies Young Women Believe had concocted for students (click here for resolutions aimed at highschool/college age girls).  I’m looking forward to discussing these with my friend and the girls in our youth group. I feel energized to be working towards something valuable–I am especially intrigued by the “I will pursue holiness over my happiness this year.” I’m thinking that’s going to be the one to kick my butt.

1. I will praise God on good days and bad days this year.
“You are good, and what you do is good” (Psalm 119:68a).
When everything is going right, it’s easy to believe that God is good and to praise Him because of it. But when life gets tough we are tempted to question God’s goodness and “forget” to praise Him. When your life gets messy, you can choose to believe God’s Word rather than trusting your emotions and praise God in all circumstances.

2. I will live like I am deeply loved this year.
“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness’” (Jeremiah 31:3).
Feeling unloved can have a huge impact on the way that we live. Specifically, believing the lie that no one cares about you can lead to depression, anxiety, and destructive behaviors. The Truth is that you are deeply loved by God. If you believe God’s love is real and receive it, it will transform your life.

3. I will pay less attention to what others think of me this year.
“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be pure and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”(Ephesians 1:4-6).
When a friend, a co-worker, or a loved one rejects us it’s easy to let that rock our world. It’s also easy to get wrapped up in trying to please the people around us in order to avoid that rejection. But God’s Truth is that He chose you and loved you enough to adopt you into His family. Choosing to fully embrace that Truth provides the perspective we need to be less concerned about what others think.

4. I won’t use stuff to make me feel good this year.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1).
God is enough to satisfy your needs. If you have Him, you have everything you need. Believing this Truth allows you to stop trying to make yourself feel better by having the right stuff. You already have what you need.

5. I will do what it takes to overcome a sinful habit this year.
“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin” (Romans 6:6-7).
God’s Truth is that you do not have to sin, and every sinful pattern in your life can be overcome by the power of Christ living in you. That doesn’t mean that overcoming sin doesn’t often take work. You may need to confess your sin to a Christian friend or pastor, recruit an accountability partner, or remove a habit or relationship that has become a stumbling block in order to stop a sinful habit in your life. But God’s Word promises that you can receive freedom. Believe that Truth and then do what is necessary to remove sin.

6. I will embrace a God-sized challenge this year.
“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
God has not commanded you to do anything that He will not give you the grace to do. That means, for example, that:
• there is no one you cannot love (Matthew 5:44)
• you can give thanks in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
• there is no one you cannot forgive (Mark 11:25)
• you can be sexually pure (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4)

7. I will accept responsibility for my actions this year.
“The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him” (Ezekiel 18:20).
You are responsible before God for your behavior, responses, and choices. You may not be able to control the things that happen to you this year, but you can control how you respond to the things God allows to come into your life. Making the choice to stop blaming others for the negative patterns in your life and to assume personal responsibility for your own choices will free you to obey God regardless of your circumstances.

8. I will be more concerned about my holiness than my happiness this year.
“Be holy because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).
Jesus didn’t die so that we could live a life for ourselves and our own pleasure, but so we could be free to live a life that pleases Him. Pleasing Him will sometimes require sacrifices. But any sacrifice we make is temporary, and cannot be compared with the joy and fulfillment we will gain in eternity. Only through seeking to be holy can we ever experience true happiness.

9. I will add praise, thanksgiving, listening, and confession into my prayer life this year.
“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son” (Romans 8:29a).
God is more concerned about changing you and glorifying Himself than about solving your problems. With that Truth in mind, a balanced prayer life should include more than just asking God to fix your problems. Work to build a relationship with God that is not strictly focused on asking Him to change your circumstances.

10. I will focus more on Jesus and less on myself this year.
“He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).
The Truth is it’s not about you; it’s all about Him. The world was not created to revolve around you. It was created to revolve around Christ. This year, look for every opportunity to make your life more about serving Jesus and attracting others to Him.

I regret I didn’t live up to my word.  I promised a blog post by 2010 and here I am, almost 3 days into January and just getting around to a hasty update.  As I get used to my new planner, I am thinking about how fast the years have gone since 2000.  I rang in the new millennium with a sleep over at my house…I was a freshman in high school with superficial concerns and lacking maturity.  Now, I am a wife, an aunt and a daughter-in-law—I have things like a home, taxes, salaries and high deductible health insurance plans to be concerned about (and a better idea of where to cast those burdens).  My maturity—probably still questionable!

2009 was a great year, but like any year it had its ups and downs.  I guess you can’t appreciate the ups until you realize when you’re climbing out of the downs.  Ministry at our church has been time consuming but worth it.  We started the year of with a winter retreat at beloved Camp Spofford.  Through out the spring and summer Sam cooked up ideas of service projects at local ministries like Helping Hand Rescue Mission and perhaps the most successful event – our youth group put on a VBS program for Roosevelt Bible Church.  Like last summer, our group also partnered with Grace Bible Church in Philadelphia for a week of exposure to ministry in an urban setting.  I love the youth at our church.  Watching them grow and mature is a joy and a privilege.  After many hectic weeks Sam and I ended the summer by celebrating our 1^st Anniversary on a nice, relaxing vacation in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.  We did nothing but be beach bums, it was amazing!

On a much more personal note, this year was definitely colored by one painful event.  In April, I was surprised to find myself pregnant. We were overwhelmed by the pregnancy but our worries and concerns gave way to joy and on Mother’s Day we revealed the news to our families.  For reasons unknown, I miscarried our baby by the middle of May.  I feel this event will haunt us for the rest of our lives, but “hope is born of suffering” and I marvel and the comfort and peace God provided through some dark days.  On our mantel sits a box with the sonogram picture of our first child God knitted in my womb.  It is also filled with the kindest notes and prayers I received due to that loss.  I have never been more thankful for supportive family, kind friends and our church’s tender and loving community.  Most important to me were the relationships formed and strengthened with women who had experienced the same tragedy.  It was their words that made the deepest impression on me, especially those who made a point to reach out to me weeks and months after the event.  I remember that day as the saddest in my life but I also remember it as the day I saw on a deeper level how much of a treasure Sam is to me.  I wonder at how God has been so kind to me in that area. I wish you could have seen how gentle Sam’s eyes are – from when he looked down on me as I lay in the hospital bed before going into the operating room to four months later as he patiently dealt with me as I continued to work through my grief and frustration.

Autumn quickly turned into Christmas-tide.  In that time we’ve celebrated multiple weddings of family and friends (going to weddings is sooo much fun when you know how much marriage means to you), kept up with normal schedules, welcomed a second nephew into our lives, got another dog and discovered we’d have another nephew in the spring.  Thanksgiving also took on a new meaning as our first niece was born prematurely—we continue to be grateful for her continued growth and health.  Soon, she’ll be home with her mom and dad and we couldn’t be more thrilled.  I am looking forward to meeting this little one who has consumed my prayers! Christmas ’09 was quite the busy one! I am proud of Sam and I.  Every now and then I’ll look at him and think “we did it!”  In 11 days, we hosted 15 different people and 2 dogs (not counting our own) at our home.  Some stayed for a night, some for a few days and some for a week, but not all at the same time! Throw in a wedding, a blizzard, Christmas and Sam generally being busier with the church Christmas schedule—well, I don’t know what that makes for, but it’s crazy fun! By our front door hangs a plaque we received as wedding gift.  It reads “whether you come to visit or just to rest, when you enter our home may you be blessed.”  That is my hope for our house.  We were delighted that our home could be the hub for Sam’s family during his brother’s wedding, enabling most of his side to celebrate Christmas a few days early.  I also was delighted to celebrate Christmas with my entire family. With one brother in Cali and the other in Louisville, this isn’t going to happen a lot and I’m grateful when we can actually pull it off. Well there ya have it! If you want more details, all you have to do is ask.  Sam and I recouped by spending a night in New York City.  Nothing like starting the new year off on the right foot! Beware, I plan on “blogging” a whole lot more in 2010.  Thanks for taking the time to care about us, whoever our readers are (hi mom)!!!