On Fatherhood.

A late post on Father’s Day.

Every pastor has prejudices. When you work with people long enough, you look for clues that save you time in measuring people before you do deep dives into their opinions. And being a pastor is tricky because everyone has opinions on your job.

Here’s what gets my attention if they have kids: (and… since it’s a known prejudice, I then have to talk myself out of being judgey.) – How did someone do as a parent? Did they use their time with young kids well? – How are their children doing as human beings, or as Christians? Were they more concerned about self-promotion or raising their kids? What sorts of Fathers or Mothers are/were they? (Is what I awkwardly ask when evaluating someone’s advice on what a church should be like.)

And again, it’s a prejudice – kids are kids – people make mistakes – if we got a do over who among us would do everything the same? And frankly, I don’t always live up to my own standards.

But I find myself with the most respect, and listen the most to women and men who have led their homes well (1 Timothy 3:4) – and I want to be the sort of leader who gets to the end and has kids who I can be proud of. And I’m most thankful on days like Fathers day that I’m surrounded by a community that works really hard at raising good kids, who have learned a lot from good parents.

“When a father is present, emotionally healthy, and involved in his child’s life, the child has a tremendous advantage in the world to navigate its complexities and challenges with joy and confidenceā€¦ What else can you hope other than that your [child] understands, deep in his heart, that you love him? That you’re pouring into him because of how much you care about him and the life he is going to lead?” – Jon Tyson, The Intentional Father