This is going to sound harsh but I read a blog last week and the author spoke of God”s blessings in her life because at the age of 20 something she had everything that she had asked God for when she was 15…husband, dream home, baby, car, etc.

I read the post and kind of felt like something was wrong — not necessarily with her, but maybe me? Was I judging her, cause I know God doesn”t like that. Was I jealous of her life — that things had worked out exactly according to her plans? Yeah I was jealous! I”m lucky if my meal plans work out! Was I suspicious? You bet. I immediately started analyzing things looking for the loop holes — peoples” lives just can”t be that perfect, right?  Sam would say it”s the New Yorker in me that doesn”t buy into these posts. New Yorker or not,  in the pit of my soul I know I long for a bigger God than one who helps me realize the American Dream. As a matter of fact, when I look at my rich blessings, sometimes I feel that they are almost the opposite of what I would have planned for myself (hello, me, a pastors” wife?). I have sensed who God is as I struggle with him, for him–it”s that bit that makes me roll my eyes anytime I hear words coming out of Joel Osteen”s mouth! I don”t believe granting me my wishes is God”s priority. I don”t even know if God wants my happiness all the time — I just think he wants me to say (and act upon) “God, you are my God.” And sometimes–I”m just not happy with the way things are:

“Why couldn”t that couple conceive a  child?

How does an 11 yr old boy get terminal cancer?

Why don”t some parents love their children more?

How does a girl leave home for a jog and never make it back?

Why should earthquakes steal lives?

How could he leave her?

How could she leave him?”

My friend Missy and her husband John are missionaries in Nigeria. In her latest blog post Missy detailed her latest venture into a brothel.  When I first read it I felt frustrated and helpless and struggled to form a prayer that felt fitting and adequate for the great need there.  I think part of it was I knew that the level of injustice and darkness that Missy struggled with was probably far greater than any human could communicate.

Missy outlines her plan–she is going to pray, to visit the brothel again, bring candy for the children and nbso online casino embark on making relationships.I feel God”s glory is being shown off in this story.

Sometimes I revel in God”s “bigness.” Albert Einstein said that no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. Sin-created by man. Living in the effects of sin-reality. God–bigger than my consciousness. I feel freedom and liberty to leave these problems with God, to trust and obey when he calls me to participate.

Acts 17:24-28 has kind of become my go to answer verse when I feel like I”m in the in ring with my opponent–struggle. I spent a lot of time thinking why — why wasn”t I that young girl, born into the brothel? Who am I, that I should be spoiled with comforts? From verse 26 – 28:

26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28“For in him we live and move and have our being.” As some of your own poets have said, “We are his offspring.”

The curse of blogging is that I don”t always “publish” polished work–my argument might not be gracefully articulated so please forgive me if I have offended…If you agree, please discuss. If you disagree, discuss as well.

By |March 3rd, 2010|sam reflects|4 Comments

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  1. Debi March 4, 2010 at 11:30 am - Reply

    Love your blog. God does not long for each of us to be comfortable. But He is very patient with our prayer/wish list and He works through them to teach us full dependence and obedience, whether He decides to answer them the way we asked or not…

  2. Amy the Awesome March 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm - Reply

    I get that weird feeling when people talk about their blessing from God… how they know God is blessing them because their wish-list is checked-off. These people picked certain things, prayed for them, received them, and then announce that God is therefore good because of these “perfect gifts”. And I can’t quite articulate why I feel this way. I know jealousy is involved (because my wish-list is still lacking those check marks), but I’m very convinced that God’s goodness reaches far beyond my mortal happiness. And I’m concerned about what message this “God is good because He gives good gifts” mentality communicates to both the Christian and non-Christian culture. The compulsion for people to loudly proclaim God’s goodness in relation to answered prayers really puts him in a box. For awhile, I believed (though would never admit out loud) that if I didn’t see the blessings I asked for from God, then He must have forgotten about me or I must have ticked Him off. I knew it wasn’t true, but I felt so left out of this little party where God was the giver and everyone but me was the receiver. I guess it just really frustrates me that Christian culture limits God’s goodness to getting what we want. His goodness and blessings go way beyond me- and I cannot quantify how good He is based on what I (or anyone else) gets.

  3. Grace March 4, 2010 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    Great thoughts. I think the perspective has to be that “it’s not about me”. Everything we have and what we don’t have has to be accepted humbly… “to much is given, much is required”…. One aspect of the story of the talents that Jesus told is that it is not about how much we have compared to others but what we do with what God has entrusted to us. James 1 actually says that the one is humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position but the the one who is rich in his low position. Spiritually speaking, the one who is suffering and has “less” according to worldly standards has the opportunity to be abundantly rich spiritually and to be spiritually rich is beyond comparison and the greatest treasure that will last for eternity.

  4. Jon March 7, 2010 at 8:45 pm - Reply

    And I thought I knew this blogger. Now I know her a little better. I guess I have many years on you oh blogger. I just have to reflect about God’s blessings. I have come to realize that we can’t set the time for the blessing, what we do is make opportunities for God to bless us. By being the person God wants us to be, gives us more chances to see the blessings God puts before us.
    First is we were put here on earth. Just last week, God shook Chile really hard. Was that a wake up for us to just look at what He created. We worry about the bills and what is for dinner, all the while there is that pretty sunset and the soft sound of the stream. But then there is the blessing from relationships. All of a sudden, after long years at times, the other side will comment something like, “You were there for me.” or “The love I can give to my wife is because of what you showed me as a youngster.” You know in your heart that when you give it feels good and right. But when, after it is history and you have given over and over, the reward comes when you least expect it. It is people letting God work through them that gives the blessings. Never have I seen something material bless like a gift of love. So take it from their. In all things give thanks.

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